Guys, have you ever wondered what women think about you when you first meet them on a date? During an informative sit down with one of my very close friends, Kelly, she certainly explained what red flags will instantly end the possibility of a second date.
Here’s what Kelly had to say about her dating experience throughout the years.
[When] I was still in the dating scene, I never let a date go past one date unless I saw potential. It was the same for boyfriends, I never let it be too serious until I saw that we could have something more. I don’t like to waste my time nor other people’s time. I’ve never ended a date too short because I always stuck it out.
But here are some of the red flags that have never let them past the first date:
i). Unkept/Dirty – I went out with a guy who looked like he pulled his shirt out of the hamper. It was dirty and wrinkly. We walked around with coffee and talked but in all honesty, I was embarrassed to even be close to him. He was actually a pretty intelligent guy. I just couldn’t get past the fact that he didn’t try the least bit to look decent. I was relieved when he texted and said it wouldn’t work out between us. Save by the bell.
ii). Invasion of personal space – I hate when a guy gets too close on the first date especially when there’s no connection at all. I remember when I met this guy on Tinder, he was cool and we agreed to meet to see how well we mesh together. From the moment I got to the restaurant, sat down, and ordered my food, he immediately invaded my personal space when it was clear that I wanted at least a foot of air in between us. Come on guys, when a girl leans away from you it’s a sign that you’re way too close.
iii) Too into himself – If you enjoy hearing yourself speak then do it in the privacy of your home or take it up as a career choice. Can we say, “speaker”?
There was this guy named Mike. He would talk about himself waaaaaay too much. We went on a date and he showed that he was not interested in me. Asked me if I want to go inside his house and see his cat…see his cat?? At this point, it wasn’t even a date. It was just a guy that a friend of mine was friends with and just because we were both Filipino, she thought we would get along. B–ch, no!
A little back story…
We were at her house and she suggested I drive him home since he’s on the way. Girl, seriously? Way to put me on the spot. So when I agreed to take him home, he asked me if I wanted to see his cat late at night. It weirded me out… especially since he was leaning towards me.
Not a date, but he was interested in me. He was a friend of the same friend. An ex-marine. Nothing wrong with marines but he was telling us (bragging) about this story of a girl that lived near the base… basically the story was about degrading the girl. I told my friend that she needed to stop setting me up with her no-good guy friends. Okay, this one guy actually got to two dates. He was really sweet. BUT definitely not my type. He was a nerd. I loved nerds. But he also dressed like he was 60 years old. But I gave him a chance… our next date was a movie. I forgot what movie it was but, it was something he liked. Loved. Actually that’s an understatement… he was head over heels for this movie.
The whole time we watched it, he was at the edge of his seat bouncing up and down. Don’t get me wrong, I love movies and I tend to pinch whoever is next to me when I get excited… but this… oh boy. If he could, I think he would have jumped up and run to the screen to kiss it. Such enthusiasm was not for me.
iv). Being a jackhole – No one likes a d–k. I don’t need guys to be complete gentlemen but there are times when you should show a little bit of decency. It’s obvious I keep finding Mr. Wrong, but this one right here took the cake. So we were walking into a bar and he was walking in front of me, he opened the swinging door and let it go while I was right behind him. I actually remained calm and said nothing, but that was strike one b–ch. We went up to the bar and he took the only seat available. Dick. Like, who raised you?
So the next day when he texted I told him straight up why I wouldn’t go out with him again. He stalked me for a bit after that. He even brought his mom to our date. We were in our mid-20s.
v). First date rapist – This is the kind of guy that you want to watch out for. Don’t leave your drink unattended because you might get roofied. I was single, excited, and ready to do what my youthful molecules were begging me to do– party. Specifically, have a few beers and rip up the dance floor with the new pack of Victorian mongrels I was running with.
Maybe even sing some karaoke, who knows, we were wild. As arranged, I went to stay with Adam, the friend from the area whom I had known the longest and I was very much aware he had a crush on me. He said a flatmate who had just moved out, and if I wanted to spend the night I could because there is an extra room and bed ready for me.
So the night was winding down, and I took Adam up on his offer. With a big smile on my face and a bag over my shoulder, Adam smirked, leading me to his apartment then into the living room.
“There’s been, uh, a change of plans. We had to pack up the extra bed.” Lying through his teeth, Adam gave me lots of reasons why the bed was folded up in the corner of the room, but none which were even adjacent to the truth.
He then showed me his room. “You can just sleep with me!” He smiled as if he’d polished off the canary. I looked at him like he had feathers sprouting out of his ass. Not only did his room give off a murder-scene vibe, I knew perfectly well what trap he was attempting to walk me in to.
Much to Adam’s disappointment, I spent twenty minutes fighting for the freedom of the mattress. I was rewarded with requiring a tetanus shot, so gave up and asked for blankets.
Adam refused until I started looking at AirBnB’s closeby, then a magical sleeping bag appeared. He was visibly frustrated at the failure of his master plan. Ha. better luck next time!