There a lot of things that can contribute to the demise of any relationship no matter how good you think you got it. Maybe it’s a lack of trust, lust, communication or hands down (someone cheated). But parentalizing your spouse is one of the worst things you can possibly do.
According to our friends over at YourTango:
“Parentalizing” your [significant other] is the act of “trying to get our unmet childhood needs met by this new person,” said Neil Strauss, author of The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships in an interview.
Strauss said that we often fall for people who have our parents’ best and worst traits because our first experience with love is through our parents. “That sets the template for how we see love and what we want out of love,” he said.
For example, men who saw their mothers as “naggy” as teenagers would find this very same trait in their own partner, even if they’re actually not naggy.
For a moment, he compared his wife to his mother. “I started making up a whole story, because my mom always nagged, like that she’s controlling, just let me live my life, and who are you to call me rude?” he said.
Below is a list of the top ten things that are the absolute worst things to NOT DO in a relationship.
- You wake up your partner in the morning is said to be an act of “nagging” especially when they are having a good night’s rest or tired from a long night.
- You are overprotective of your significant other.
- You pack your partner’s suitcase when traveling.
- You remind them to take their medicine, do something, or be somewhere on time.
- You frequently correct your partner’s behavior.
- You make doctor’s appointments for your spouse (only if they ask should you do it).
- You pick up after your spouse (this can be annoying especially if you have a messy spouse).
- You may talk to them using “baby talk” or a stern parent voice (if so, then it’s time to throw in the towels, no one wants to raise an adult).
- You don’t hesitate to make your partner’s plate, cut up their food, or make them eat all their veggies (guys love being catered to but cutting up their food is a NO NO!).
15. You decide what they are going to wear (you should only do this unless they ask or give you the okay to so).
Although I am sure there are plenty of other things I can add to the list, so to keep your relationship — especially in a pandemic — try to avoid things that will have your spouse question their place in the relationship and/or may even give them ideas as to why they should step out.